If anxiety was already through the roof before March, then it is now in the stratosphere.
And no wonder! We are dealing with a strange new invisible killer, that strikes at will. It now kills 3000 people a day, a number greater than those Americans lost on 9-11. Every day. No one less than 102 years old has ever experienced anything like this ever in their lifetime.
Add to this the confusing, disgraceful response of our federal government to this crisis which has torn the country apart. Do masks really work? Should I socialize inside with friends and family? Should I travel?
The answer depends on your political party and what part of the country in which you live.
Then add the explosion in food, job and rent insecurity. Families are losing all of these, while Mitch McConnell and the President have held any attempts at solution act hostage to petty political considerations.
Many of my patients have scrambled to pay rent and put food on the table.
Our nation faces a challenge to our democracy as never before, as a sitting President and his Party openly try to overturn a free and fair election.
Finally, with schools mostly closed to in-person learning, parents have struggled to be teachers as well as caregivers and breadwinners. It is an impossible task.
Kids catch anxiety from their worried parents as easily as one may catch the Covid virus. Depending on their developmental age, they may feel as if they did something to cause this, or that they can control the situation through constant hand washing. Like adults, they may turn to stress eating, and gain the “Covid 19” as it has been called.
Millions of children have had their video addictions fed by the fact that their noses have to pressed onto screens all day, not only to “go to school”, but to socialize safely with friends and family. They turn to addictive and sometimes video games like Fortnight for recreation.
As one frustrated father told me recently, when he brought his son in for a well child check-up, “He spends 7 hours a day on school, then turns to video games. He used to play football and basketball, but they’ve all been cancelled. And he’s depressed.”
I asked the boy, who had turned from muscular to overweight, and sat sullenly on the exam table, how school and life were going.
“It sucks,” he said glumly.
(Some young people have enjoyed being at home for in “google classrooms”, but these are mainly kids who were bullied or anxious at school —- issues that will need to be addressed in the future.)
If this picture looks grim, it is. But there are things that parents and families can do.
For one, I encourage all kids, and parents to find time to go outside. It’s safe and it’s free.
Nature is right up there with Love, Friendship, Laughter, Good Food, Exercise, and Sleep as one of the best medicines there are.
All of these were important before the pandemic, but they are absolutely essential now. I will make sure that children, and caregivers, are taking the time to eat good nourishing meals, connect with friends, go to sleep at a reasonable hour (teens, ever the night owls, can tend to become third shift folks if allowed), avoid snacking on junk, have some fun family times, move their bodies, especially if sports have been cancelled, and yes, find ways to laugh, whether it be with a funny TV show, movie night, or games.
And then, no matter the weather, or the immediate environment, I encourage them to go outside.If there are no safe green areas to play, I encourage parents to bring their kids to a safe park, or reservoir.
In Holyoke, where my office is located, there are unsafe downtown neighborhoods, but quiet Ashley Reservoir and its geese and blue herons, or the Mt Tom Reservation, home of deer, peaceful ponds, and beautiful views of the Pioneer Valley is always close by. Many of my families live in suburban and rural towns, with lots of opportunities for cycling, fishing, hiking, and exploration.
I share with my families these helpful links to help them find nature, or gardening activities of their choice. I smile as I explain, “These are websites, on line, but they tell you how to turn OFF the computer, and go outside!”
https://kidsgardening.org; https://naturallearning.org: https://tinkergarten.com;
https://www.childandnature.org; https://www.natureplayqld.org.au: (from Australia, very good!)
Finally, I instruct nearly all my young patients in simple relaxation breathing techniques.
There are many variations on the amount one inhales, holds the breath, and exhales. You can google them.
There is mountain breathing, box breathing, and yogic breathing. There are balloon breaths, and yo yo breathing (great for little kids.)
I usually teach simple belly breathing:
In through the nose, slowly, filling the belly with air.
Let the shoulders and chest be still.
Hold for a moment, just notice what’s there.
Then breathe out slowly through the mouth, whistling if you can, or imagine breathing out through a straw.
Notice again. The feeling in the neck, and the shoulder.s. They feel warm, heavy, comfortable.
Let that feeling travel down your body. (I don’t use the word “relax” because they’ve been told to “just relax” enough already.)
Of course, these instructions are not unique. You can find similar prescriptions in lots of books about mindful meditation, in webinars, websites, and lots of apps. (I have a few of them like “Aura” myself”)
But most folks don’t take the time to DO the techniques.
Yet is so easy. We are breathing all the time.
Kids, and most adults, can rarely sit for more than 10 or 15 minutes. But that’s all you need.
Or you can simply take a series of three deep breaths every few hours. Or before addressing a tough task, or a worry. It helps reset the mind and the body.
Covid 19 is usually a respiratory disorder. It affects breathing. Yet is also causes tremendous anxiety which affects breathing. I have taught relaxation breathing to a friend of mine with severe Covid 19. It was reinforced by his nurses in the ICU. It might have saved his life.
The sympathetic nervous system (the SNS) squirts out stress hormones, and can impair our immune system. Relaxation breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which dials down the SNS—- which helps protect us from Covid 19 and other infectious illnesses.
A child or adult has to do more than simply practice relaxation breathing to cure anxiety. He or she or they must address the worries head on and develop the skills to overcome them. I suggest the great book by Lynn Lyons and Reed Wilson, “Anxious Kids Anxious Parents” for full instructions.
But imaginative relaxation breathing is a wonderful practice, for mind and body, whether combined with meditation, yoga, or clinical hypnosis. Simply remember - when in doubt - to :
JUST BREATHE!
